When you strip away the already lean prose of this excellent story, what you are left with is a character study of Carlos - a low-key savant who is shaped by, and reacting to, the treatment meted out to him by his peer group, without being conscious of the fact. He can't understand why the narrator would want to be uppercut by him three times. Like an inversion of the boy who cried wolf, he just wants to prove way beyond any reasonable doubt that the gator is real. Provoking the animal is not so much an act of self harm, as it is a cultivated expression of an eagerness to fit in and to be accepted at any cost.
The dynamic between the young men reminded me of a documentary I saw many years ago about a young gang in London - ten, eleven, twelve-year old boys who were growing up on a council estate. The leader of the gang was this mouthy little kid who dominated the others with his words. There was a point where one of the quieter gang members beat the crap out of him. The true hierarchy of the gang was revealed and it changed everything.
In the context of this story, I suppose, once the guy who you have been putting down has revealed that he can physically dominate you, the pressure to keep him in his place is greater than before.
What great writing. Thank you. The short story is about the hardest prose form isn't it, but whole lives are told in this short passage and stylistically the last line is a jolt. I loved this.
Pretty elemental here. Lean and tight with nothing extra, packing a punch. There’s an extra sentence I’m fairly glad you didn’t write at the end. Huuuuuuge indeed.
Lean, muscular storytelling. Suspenseful, frightening, but also comical and weirdly inspiring. Something almost spiritual coats the edges, as though the gator were a metaphysical extension of Carlos, the part of him that was docile but menacing while bullied. Great story!
When you strip away the already lean prose of this excellent story, what you are left with is a character study of Carlos - a low-key savant who is shaped by, and reacting to, the treatment meted out to him by his peer group, without being conscious of the fact. He can't understand why the narrator would want to be uppercut by him three times. Like an inversion of the boy who cried wolf, he just wants to prove way beyond any reasonable doubt that the gator is real. Provoking the animal is not so much an act of self harm, as it is a cultivated expression of an eagerness to fit in and to be accepted at any cost.
The dynamic between the young men reminded me of a documentary I saw many years ago about a young gang in London - ten, eleven, twelve-year old boys who were growing up on a council estate. The leader of the gang was this mouthy little kid who dominated the others with his words. There was a point where one of the quieter gang members beat the crap out of him. The true hierarchy of the gang was revealed and it changed everything.
In the context of this story, I suppose, once the guy who you have been putting down has revealed that he can physically dominate you, the pressure to keep him in his place is greater than before.
I like it. Prose is tight and moves fast. Nice work!
What great writing. Thank you. The short story is about the hardest prose form isn't it, but whole lives are told in this short passage and stylistically the last line is a jolt. I loved this.
Pretty elemental here. Lean and tight with nothing extra, packing a punch. There’s an extra sentence I’m fairly glad you didn’t write at the end. Huuuuuuge indeed.
Poor Carlos. So this is what writing looks like! Look forward to more.
Let's gooo! Enjoyed this man. Looking forward to more.
Thanks bro!
Lean, muscular storytelling. Suspenseful, frightening, but also comical and weirdly inspiring. Something almost spiritual coats the edges, as though the gator were a metaphysical extension of Carlos, the part of him that was docile but menacing while bullied. Great story!